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The legs were stiff tonight after yesterday’s hills. The to-do list at home is long…yet my baby girl (10 years young) says she wants to run with me tonight. I think to myself, “But I’m supposed to do 6K”. We compromise and agree to do 3.5K if we can. She’s never run more than 2K before…and certainly not at a steady-don’t-stop pace.
Honestly, I thought she’d last 1-1.5K but oh no. My strong-willed, determined, persistent daughter stuck by my side the whole way, keeping pace the whole time, not complaining. I have so much to learn from her. I am a proud maman. And I would’ve been just as proud of her if she would’ve needed to stop.
Just deciding to try wins my admiration. I love you baby girl!
“….don’t stand around moping, “I dunno what to do… I’m just not sure…” unless you want all of your tomorrows to look like your yesterdays.” –S. Pavlina
July 19 was my last post. YIKES! How did that much time go by? I’ve been dancing the tango with this project for a month now. The running has been on and off. And quite obviously, there has been silence in this forum as well. But I’m picking-up where I left off.
You see, I thought I’d take a week off. We were out of town for a few days…2 of the 3 days were supposed to include jogging. The first day I worked it in. The second day, it just wasn’t feasible to include a 10K run. (“It’s okay, LG…you’ll pick it up on Tuesday”). When Tuesday rolls around, I’m exhausted from my adventures and give myself permission to take the remainder of the week off to rest. That was the first spoke in the proverbial wheel of “Because I can…”
What a pleasant rest I had (yep, that’s lemons-into-lemonade for ya)! Sunday rolls around and I’m planning on trying that 10K from last Sunday. I change the scenery up a bit (thanks to my Sunday running partner) and WHAT A DISASTER!!! A-hem…I mean…the outcome wasn’t quite what I anticipated it to be…and good for me for listening acutely to my body. Yikes!!! Not failure, just feedback, right??!!! I made it half way through without stopping (Sunday’s are supposed to be 10:1 run/walk) then started a precarious stumble downhill from there. I was soooooo disappointed in myself. I soooooo wanted to return to the trail with vim and vigour, finishing strong, jogging the whole time. And WHAM!! The very opposite happened. Now how do I recover from that?
I’m pretty sure I didn’t run the week after that…or very little if I did. I was emotionally peeved at myself and wasn’t following the path of forgiveness. No siree, I was going to resent the hell out of my limitations!
And so I perpetuated this pathetic cycle for a couple more weeks, allowing self-depricating thoughts sabotage my plans, conveniently forgetting all the affirming beliefs that I’ve been nurturing since this journey began.
So now it’s Tuesday of this week and two lovely work colleagues (more than a decade younger than yours truly) invite me to join them for a lunch hour jaunt (that includes hills) on Wednesday. Figuring it was as good a time as any to shrug off the yoke of self-doubt, I accepted their invitation. Jinkies, I was nervous!!!! What if I slowed them down? What if I couldn’t keep up? What if I had to stop and walk? What if….
What a bunch of steamin’ horse SH*T! I can honestly say, I had serious performance anxiety before setting out (I can’t even imagine what olympic athletes go through!!). But it happened. And I did keep up…until half-way…and I did slow them down on the return trip (which they didn’t seem to mind), and I didn’t have to stop and walk (with a lot of silent “you can do it!!” sing-songing in my mind when negotiating the hills). I finished strong and recovered quickly and I’m okay with that.
I didn’t do any happy dances when I crossed the finish line. But I do feel like I’ve overcome a substantially large mental BOULDER that has been plaguing my progress. I couldn’t get over it, I couldn’t get under it, I couldn’t go through it, so I just went around it.
Therefore, have officially picked back up where I left off. And however it rolls-out from here, I will be grateful for the experience, no matter what it brings or where it takes me.
Peace xo
I don’t get it. Well I do…but I don’t want to. Last night’s run was AWESOME! I felt so strong and powerful and fast. It was a new experience for me and I LOVED it.
Tonight, the ride was considerably rougher. Talk about a disconnect between my legs and my lungs. My legs had a pace of their own…wanting to stay fast and strong, but I couldn’t seem to get enough air in my lungs. But I just couldn’t seem to slow down to catch my breath because my legs were wound up so tight. It was soooooo weird!
I had 5K to do tonight. I made it through 2.75K without stopping then chugged the rest of the way, starting and stopping what felt like every 30 seconds. Oh well. I guess it’s like that sometimes.
I went the distance. That’s all that matters.
Peace xo
So I have two things to confess: 1. I’ve been super avoiding even thinking of running (I felt the tension all day) and didn’t want to go out tonight at all. And, I was supposed to do a 3K warm-up, 3 hills, then a 3K cool-down. But time and daylight did not permit me to get to the hills in time.
But excuses are not part of my “Because I can…” journey so….
Instead, I ran down the familiar country road, listening to new music and pushing myself beyond anything I’ve experienced so far. Elton John rocked through the ear buds and I kept time with my pace. Man, Elton’s songs are long!! LOL I managed a full 85% for at least 5 minutes and 20 seconds…the longest stretch yet. Then I allowed myself a wee bit of time to bring my heart rate back down then I was at it again with another face paced tune…and repeated a third time (3 hills, right?) It was fantastic.
Considering how I feel like I met “the wall” yesterday, today I pushed through it and I am relieved. Never give up…NEVER give up!!
Peace xo
How is it that a weed can push it’s way through pavement, stand tall and proud, healthy and green, and thrive? The environment is against it…heat, oppression, traffic?
Because all it knows how to do is survive and thrive. Gotta admire the weeds…
Tonight was a tough go, I have to admit. My feet felt like concrete blocks and my lungs felt full of water. Yet I pushed through the struggle and beyond my comfort zone. I survived another run.
4K tonight. I’m supposed to start hills tomorrow. I’m not quite sure how and where that’ll happen but it’ll happen. Weeds are survivors.
Peace xo
Just me and my radio…what a combo!
I have to admit that I was extremely hesitant about today’s run. With the humidex, it was close to 40 degrees Celsius. That is HOT for running. I normally go immediately after church but opted for a late evening outing, hoping for a change in the temperature.
At 7:30, I figured that I’d done enough avoiding, put on my running gear, strapped on the radio and headed out. The schedule said 10K with 10:1 intervals. After the first 10 mintues, I walked and got lost in my thoughts, missing the beep after 1 minute so ended up walking for 2. The funny thing is, I didn’t want to walk at all tonight. I wanted to see how far I could go before I needed to walk.
Turns out, I made it the rest of the way without walking. I am so psyched!!! It took me a really long time to run that distance but I am so okay with that. (I was preserving energy to make it to the end). And my recovery time amazed me!!!
This is going well…very well indeed. I am so grateful for the health to push my body and mind beyond their perceived limits. Bring it on!! 🙂
Peace xo
Saturday morning, warm and balmy, it’s time to set out. People are everywhere! This is the nicest summer weather we’ve had in years! I am passed by several trucks pulling boats and trailers behind them. It’s GREAT to be alive!
The run went very well. I was a bit stiff but the music once again kept me company. In order to mix things up a bit, I found myself sprinting whenever I ran through some shaded areas along the road.It may seem a bit silly but it’s my nature to try things differently as often as I can. I even went a couple hundred meters more than I needed to. It was a great work out!
Tomorrow is scaring me a bit. It’s 10K and the forecast is supposed to stifling hot. The perfect recipe for “Because I can…”
Peace xo
I learned tonight that my friend’s son died a couple of days ago. My friend is in her 80’s…her son was 57 years old.
For all those that have lost a precious loved one, my heart is heavy for you and prays for your peace.
I am grateful for the health and prosperity of my family. I will continue to greet my days with gratitude for every moment. That is my choice. That is what I am saying yes to.
Peace xo
P.S. The run went great tonight. 😉 I am getting stronger and I am grateful.
I read a fabulous blog post today. It was about being aware of what we (and by “we” I mean “I”) say yes to on a daily basis.
My list (like others’ I suppose) would have things that I choose because I want to and likely things that I feel that I have to say yes to. And, there’s probably stuff that I say a tentative yes to that could probably be classified as a maybe.
But every action and thought are a choice. I really just want to fill my days with saying yes to things that fire me up, fill me with energy, and send me soaring into happy-land.
Running 5 times a week is a choice. I am saying yes to health. I am saying yes to challenging my horizons. I am saying yes combining my physical activity with my creative expression (aka blog :)).
What are you saying yes to?
Peace xo
I think I was mentally saving myself tonight and so I set out at a snail’s pace to do my run. Having a rest day in-between Sunday’s 9K and today’s 5K made a huge difference. The country road was so quiet…the scenery was beautiful, the music was keeping me in time.
It was a good run. I still had some left at the end of the go…I guess slow and steady does win the race after all. Today was the longest distance. Theoretically, the rest of the week will go well…right?!
Peace xo
Because I can 